Doesn't that make you ponder? Hah, ok la, i'm touched. Don't worry mate, i'll be back in action tomorrow.

It's complicated. I texted my formers last night asking what will they miss about me when i die. Or is there even anything there to miss. Did i ever made an impact in people's life? I got lame answers as usual. But i wonder and thought about it the whole day today. Its time to make a stamp on people's life. Of course for the better. Good stuff.

Lying around, sleeping the whole day... i thought about stuff, thought through things, sorted out my mind a little. Not very straight but getting there. I can't worry too much about what happened already, the need to move on is crucial. Sometimes we are just stucked at the moment. Cause we think it might change, might u-turn... something magical might happen *fingers crossed*

Sometimes it does, sometimes it doesn't. I thought i could wait, but till the day he looks at me and say those words again, i doubt i'll feel the same. I can feel the urge to listen to his voice, his laughter, his presence no more. Slipping through my fingers as time passes by. Is it my fault? Or am i just being selfish thinking about my feelings and move on to the next.

Sake of convenience? he is there all the time, just a phone call away. A very good kuli, pick me up wherever i am and listens to my crap. As i thought, i might be selfish moving on first but he is selfish by wasting time coordinating his bloody feelings and stability. So, where do i stand? he might even ditch me in the middle of it.

Its like a korean melodrama... Telling me that he'll be there always, he loves me, he cares... *ahhbulllllmmmsshmmmiiiitttmmm* then later go for the rich girl that his mother chose.
If ever he does, i'm gonna slap him with my bare hands cause he thinks i'm high maintenance. Awful excuses people can come up with. Make sense? not necessary.

Understand me not. You un or not ah AM? i'm fedup playing this guessing, cat and mouse or whatever game you call it. It is so mind boggling, energy draining, heart wrenching...